I started smoking when i was 18. Just because it was legal at that age, doesn't mean i wasn't being immature and rebellious. Smoking was always something i found attractive, despite the protestant ideal that one shouldn't defile their 'temple'. i guess the attraction goes back to the smell of my grandpa's pipe, from my childhood memories.
So, yeah, i was rebelling against my parents' image as pious, healthy, and sober. i was rebelling against my church telling me how to live. none of those things are relavent anymore. but during that one summer, smoking became one of those things that i did because tyler durden told me to.
'you have to KNOW, not FEAR,
that someday you will die'
it's not that i'm suicidal, or a nihilist; smoking is not going to kill me Right Now. it will kill me later. with any luck, it will kill me before my organs start failing, and i lose control of my bladder. is this irresponsible? yes. insurance companies are right to charge me a higher premium. taking risks with my health later in life is certainly an indication that i'll take other risks in the near future.
but it doesn't mean that i don't love life. or that i don't want to be healthy. it means that smoking provides me more enjoyment now than i'm betting it will take away later. I like the taste. i like the stress relief. i like the 5 minutes of solitude. i like being an outsider at work, at parties and at bars, when all the smokers have to go hang out outside to pollute their lungs.
So no, i don't want to quit. i've never wanted to quit. but i have quit previously, temporarily. when i was short enough on money that it was a choice between cigarettes and going out/eating/buying new clothes, that's when it's not worth it. it's not that i can't, or that i'm too addicted, physically, to the nicotine. it's that i don't want to be complete, or perfect, or lukewarm.
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I’ll never look down on someone for smoking. It’s a choice they make. What I think is hypocritical is when someone tells another person to not smoke because it “defiles their temple” but then stuff junk food into their mouth and sit on their butt all day getting fat. Or tell someone not to drink alcohol because it’ll ruin their liver and then hop on their motorcycle and put their life on the line. I mean, let’s be realistic and consistent here folks. Am I right?
yer always right.
except when yer not.
and then i’ll tell ya.
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