Austin Web Designer - Adam Freetly

current tune: jimmy eat world - for me this is heaven

“men in general judge more by their eyes than their hands; for everyone can see but few can feel. Everyone sees what you seem to be, few touch upon what you are, and those who do do not dare to contradict the opinion of the many who have the majesty of the state to defend them…for ordinary people are always deceived by appearance and by the outcome of a thing.”
- machiavelli

as much as every day i wish that quote weren't true, every day i'm reminded that it is. today it was the racial and gender disparities in workplace dress codes. stolen from a friend.

there are some basic principles of debate that i've forgotten recently. this isn't a list of mistakes, this is separate. there are mistakes not on this list, and there are things on this list that aren't applicable to me recent jackassery. i should say, i'm pretty much always an asshole to debate with. but lately it's been biting me in the ass. these aren't rules for debate on the internet, although they do apply here. these are rules for debate in general. they are not complete, they are just the ones i find most necessary to remind myself. so it's time to restate my assumptions:

• don't get personal
  if you start out insulting your opponent, your point is dead in the water before you make it. if you make the argument personal, the other person can't accept your point without accepting personal defeat.
• don't get personal
  even if your opponent insults you, don't take the bait. if you're that offended, walk away. no good can come of it. if you still want to make your point, just ignore the insult. keep debating like it never happened.
• don't take it personal
  no matter how much your opponent attacks your argument, your examples (even if they're personal), or your world view, it isn't personal. don't take it as such.
• pick your battles
  don't go into a fight if it requires the other person to change their view of the world. that doesn't mean democrats shouldn't debate republicans, or christians shouldn't debate atheists. that just means that you should only go into a fight if you think your opponent can change his mind about the issue at hand, without it displacing or weakening his/her world view
• concede
  the only way the debate will keep moving is if you and your opponent make progress. this requires you to acknowledge when your opponent is right. or even to acknowledge when your point would require a violation of "pick your battles". this doesn't mean you agree with your opponent. this doesn't mean you lost. this just means that your argument is bested by your opponent, and you don't have one to supersede it.
• you can't pick your friends
  everyone has different reasons for what they believe. when you make a point, anyone in the debate might take your side on that point. you can't pick your enemies either. so be as nice as possible to everyone, because you never know when they'll agree with you on something you didn't expect them to.
• remember what you're (not) fighting for
  don't assume that your way of looking at things is infallible. always bear in mind what your non-negotiables are. don't fight your non-negotiables, because no progress can be made there. if you get into a debate, assume that you might be proven wrong, so make sure it's a debate that's not hard-wired to your world view.

so that's my list. there are plenty more that i'm assuming are obvious by inspection, or that didn't come to me while writing. feel free to suggest additions or modifications.