Austin Web Designer - Adam Freetly

current tune: amalgamated sons of rest - my donal
anymore, i'm such a bastard. reasons are as follows:

• i ruin people's birthdays
• i'm selfish
• i steal other people's birthday presents
• sometimes, it's my way or the high way

explanations:
birthdays
it was my wife's birthday last week. for her birthday, we were going to go to appleseed cast. that night, she was rather tired, because i'd kept her up late the night before, listening to me play video games, or something just as evil. she asked to stay home because it was raining and she was tired, but i wouldn't relent. so we went to the show anyway, where i fed her vodka red bull because they have it on tap at the logan square auditorium, which makes it quite tasty. by the time appleseed cast was on, she was nearly ready to collapse. after they played about 4 songs, i finally relented and took her home. to make it worse, she hated appleseed cast's performance, and i loved it. THEN, THEN, we got home, and she couldn't sleep, because of all the red bull, and i fell right asleep and didn't cuddle her properly.
selfishness
i recently bought Softimage|XSI

i demanded it. i begged and pleaded for it. then i bought it before getting final approval from my chief financial officer. $537, like it's no big deal. do i get anything tangible for my wanton spending spree? no. i get some software that comes in a very big box. but that's not for a week. right now i get a license key. yep, that's all.
stealing birthday presents
it was my wife's birthday last week, yet this week her family is buying me presents. we forgot to update our collective wishlist to remove the things that only adam wanted. now, back in january, when we converted the list from our christmas list to my birthday list, we went through and removed the things that only the wifest wanted, but did we do that for her birthday? no. so we got invader zim: horrible holiday cheer, which she'd already seen most of the episodes on, and coupling seasons 1 and 2, which she could care less about, whereas i laugh my ass off at.
canadian architecture
part of the negotiated conditions of my purchasing softimage (which i have yet to comply with) was that i log my hours at k2 with NCARB. now you may remember, back last year, i was considering ways to pursue architecture in canada. i eventually realized that the canadian provinces won't recognize experience gained in other provinces, let alone other countries, namely the us. which would mean i would need to start over, acruing hours from zero, towards the 5 year mark. what i failed to consider, because i'm not very bright, is that i could have been acruing hours in canada, for an illinois license. now that would make sense. granted we would have had to come back to illinois in time for me to take the the ARE (architectural registration examination) before 2010, but it would have meant my wife wouldn't have had to do as much of the unemployment. we both would have had to find new jobs in canada, but neither of us would be denied the ability to work for 6 months.
you may be asking yourself if my wife is mean, to deserve such punishment. she is not. she is the sweetest, nicest person, who deserves only the best birthday. you may ask why she's with me, when i treat her so badly? i can't answer that, it doesn't make sense to me either. put me down as another one of those bastards who doesn't realize what a great girl he's got.