archGFX

current tune: dieselboy - eclipse

so my new computer is up.. jon has my old one.

haha, fuck off:lyle.

really wierd weekend. saturday i went to a graduation party for my former next door neighbor. all his (older) sister's friends kept coming up to me and saying "do you remember me?" which leaves me feeling completely awkward, cos i don't. i usually avoid that by way of the shaved head and the goatee where an afro and a boyish grin are expected. but alas, i'm the expected fourth member of my family.

sunday, i found out that nothing about LBC resembles what it was when i grew up there. i haven't been in years, so this is more of a surprise to me than jon.(the other former LBC kid i still talk to)how does a church become so closed in on itself that it doesn't realize it's role in the world? guess it's true about being "too heavenly minded to be any earthly good". stupid catch phrases. stupid people forgetting that the world goes on outside, and the only person that matters to is you. if you teach kids that the entire world outside is sinners, and every desire they have is wrong, how do you expect them to cope? the only reaction is of condescension mingled with jealousy. leading to an ultimate personal failure that spreads back up to the source poisoning the view of god. some people can contain it to the view of the church. more and more i wonder if i had been raised in a different church, if i would still be a christian.

but then i remember, that's like wishing i were a different me.

i just finished reading matt segur's soft power. "the award for most confusing book goes to...." it kept falling out of it's conceit. one of the many threads contained a character who had so much to do with someone i know. it's wierd when you read a book or hear a song, that expresses someone's thoughts to you better than they do. then you wonder if you're filtering either the song by the person or the person by the song. i think in the end you have to throw away anything you think you learned from it.

god i'm rambling.